one more post, before i fall into a nothingless sleep.

i've decided that i'm done with this situation. it was dumb from the start, and only spurned because i'm lonely and have a really bad case of spring fever.

so i'm going to go back to thinking of nothing.

maybe i'll tell him that.
i just want him to be my good friend.

yet i always have to look for more.

this is the exact reason why i never get involved with boys. it takes over my mind.

sometimes i wonder if i had a dad i could talk to if all of this would be different.

L