it's such a waste to be wasted in the first place.

i got really reminsicent just a second ago. i started listening to californiacation. it reminds me of when i first got back from..hm..california. something about the sounds. i can feel the 101 beneath my tires. what is it that i miss? being the new girl in town? a sea of fresh faces. i've grown so tired of the old game.

i'm just so bored. it's everywhere i go. and yet i end up being the one obsessed. i just want to be clean. happy. without this. why is it everywhere? i think it's my therpist's doing. i just hate it. but i guess it has to be done. i'm on the fringes, just like any other time.

just like any other time, life is shattered and put back together. just like any other time we move through the days.

sometimes it hits me in the face that i'm graduating in may. what the FUCK am i going to do? i knew i'd be scared. i knew this when i started. but i didn't know what else to do.

i guess we can smile and say that it will all work out ok. and why wouldn't it. life just keeps moving on. "don't go to europe," he says. "you already have contacts in LA." man.. is he right?

i'm about to steal away.

i wish i could be more positive about the future.

maybe i'm just tired today...

Larisa*