dear diary,
i've been drinking too much. perhaps i could just chalk it up to the fact that it's halloween weekend, and i was celebrating. but i don't know. all i know is that when it happens, it tends to happen fast. and i'm getting older now. my body doesn't recover so fast now. i can feel it in the morning. my brain works a bit slower. i'm more irritable. i say things i don't mean. i can't remember who i am. or who anybody else is for that matter.
saw marcus last night.
i'm so.
confused about so many things. i'm due to be leaving for florida tomorrow but i'm not entirely sure if i want to go. i don't know what to do about some certain shifts. or the fact that i went on an interview yesterday and could use this job. and that they seemed to like me!! should i just stay here and somehow get back my plane fare? i don't know. i'm fucking tired. exhaused. exhausted.
i'm sick of drinking so much. why do i do it?
right now its 5somethingAM and i woke up, but i don't remember even getting to my bed. um. scary. blackouts? who am i????


fuck it all - fuck it all.
i was actually trying to get shit done in therapy when it ended.
all's well that ends well.

and.
out.

larisa.