i think i'm bored. but maybe not.
i've got a ridiculous amount of things on my mind - but what else is new .. really?
new york this weekend.
i'm going to get to fly in a helicoper.
went to sean's tonight for a screening.
i was reminded of the first time a few summers ago that i started to really hang out with people who lived in lofts. i remember it all seemed so surreal and crazy. now that it's become such a normal part of life for me ...
i guess it just goes to show you that times can change.
and yourself changes.
it really does.

so i don't know what i want.
still.
i'd love to be an artist.
and have an artist boyfriend.
and then we could just live in our art and in each other's art and always be creating and working and loving and living.
i want to know how to take care of plants.
and things.
i want love so badly.

i really really do.


my schedule is so crazy.
i don't want it to get cold.
i want warm curtins and silky sheets and smiles and hugs.


i don't feel particularily depressed today.


but i do wonder if i'll ever give all of myself to someone.


probably not.










oh well.




larisa.