it makes me cringe when he doesn't pass.

we go and sit in the diner and the waiter dude comes up and goes to sit next to him to work out some billing thing. he says, "scoot on over, lady."

first of all -- who says that kind of stuff?

secondly.. "lady."

i wasn't sure i heard it at first so i didn't say anything. then after the waiter dude left he looks at me and says, "i hate it. i hate being called lady."

lady.

"yeah .. i heard that." i say.
"he wasn't doing it to be mean," he says. "he just didn't know."

so i look at him.

his hair has gotten longer.. maybe that's it? but no... he's got his cap on. what is it? is it possible that he's actually really feminine and i just don't see?

he needs his T is what he needs. and he knows it.

i can't imagine what it must be like to wonder every second of every day if you're going to pass. i can't imagine what it's like to live your days knowing. knowing that people sometimes get killed for this. and the ignorance that surrounds it.

i just want to take him and fix it all for him.
he's a man to me. i just wish he'd be a man to everyone.
some have no idea.
most think he's a gay dude.
but others just see it.
some are mean about it. like the guy that followed us in chinatown last week saying, "ya'll are both pretty. but you're girfriend is prettier. ya'll are both pretty ladies."
he was just doing it to be a dick.


le sigh.

i just want the world to be perfect for everyone.



goodnight.