revelations at 7am or i don't sleep like a normal person

i'm depressed.
i know it.
i know it in the way that i've been constantly irritated with everyone.
in the way that i don't really want to do anything.
i just feel really lazy and idle and worthless.

la·zy
adj. la·zi·er, la·zi·est

1. Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.
2. Slow-moving; sluggish: a lazy river.
3. Conducive to idleness or indolence: a lazy summer day.
4. Depicted as reclining or lying on its side. Used of a brand on livestock.

lazy

adj 1: moving slowly and gently; "up a lazy river"; "lazy white clouds"; "at a lazy pace" 2: disinclined to work or exertion; "faineant kings under whose rule the country languished"; "an indolent hanger-on"; "too lazy to wash the dishes"; "shiftless idle youth"; "slothful employees"; "the unemployed are not necessarily work-shy" [syn: faineant, indolent, otiose, slothful, work-shy]

i·dle
adj. i·dler, i·dlest


1. Not employed or busy: idle carpenters. See Synonyms at inactive.
2. Avoiding work or employment; lazy: shiftless, idle youth. See Synonyms at lazy.
3. Not in use or operation: idle hands.
4. Lacking substance, value, or basis. See Synonyms at baseless. See Synonyms at vain.

v. i·dled, i·dling, i·dles
v. intr.

1. To pass time without working or while avoiding work.
2. To move lazily and without purpose.
3. To run at a slow speed or out of gear. Used of a motor vehicle.


v. tr.

1. To pass (time) without working or while avoiding work; waste: idle the afternoon away.
2. To make or cause to be unemployed or inactive.
3. To cause (a motor, for example) to idle.


n.

1. A state of idling. Used of a motor vehicle: an engine running quietly at idle.
2. A mechanism for regulating the speed at which an engine runs at rest: set the idle higher to keep the motor from stalling.




**
sometimes i just want to die.
i'm going to talk to my therapist about all of this at my app. at 11am.
but maybe for awhile i should sleep.

larisa