...

ugh..
so right now i'm all sorts of confused. there are all these films events coming up....i know that i should get involved...why is it so hard?
a sort of friend of mine told me about this job that he used to have. it's master control of some tv station. however, the position is part time, 16 hrs a week, 11 an hour, and friday and sat night 11pm-7am. gah..
i just dont' know if i can do it.
why am i having such a hard time caring about anything?
fuck..
so yeah.
i went to nyc today. it was cool. i took pictures of the christo exhibit. curt slept over last night and tried to seduce me. he told me that he wants to date me. i told him i have no idea what that means. he thought that since we almost got married before maybe we should take it slow. i told him i was on my way out of the country. he said he didn't care, he just wants me back for as long as possible. sigh. god help me.
proving myself is petrifying. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING.

holy fuck.

i gotta go.

L