when i get a little scared.

i need to talk to someone so badly.
but i don't want to burden my friends with this anymore..


********
ok, so i called brennan.

but let's say this.

i've been reading a book on bipolar II rapid cycling mixed states.
and i have every symptom.

i'm so sad and scared about it.

the drugs for it are so scary.

but if i don't do something this is going to kill me.

i know i'm a strong person, i've gotten this far.

i just wish i wasn't given this hand in life.

gay. bipolar.

what the fuck. could i be any more cliche?

another thing.

i've been thinking alot of about being a soul in a human body. and how scary that is. how scary it can be that you are living in this fragile body. and at any moment you could break down.

it's time to live, but i don't know how.










yet?