dusting off your savior.

it took me years to figure it out. but that's all well and good.

awoke this morning still dressed, hardly rested. what did they want from me? it's silly trying to force all these relationships.

he calls and leaves a message. tells me he's got to leave the country. i try to comply. i really do. he sounds frantic in his actions. he sounds like me. he sounds like all of us, knowing that we can't be trapped but not seeing any other way around it. it feels like being stuck in a cage.

he's on break at work. i ask him if he's still got his friends.

meanwhile there's me. bank account dwindling. unsent emails. unfinished resume. long hair that might be considered "too vampy for the office," as according to msn.

why do i feel so ugly?

i think they're back. it serves me right for not saying anything.

i should make these calls. calls to doctors. calls to the mac mall.
calls to my therapist.

calls to whoever. i forgot i had wednesday free. oh yeah, she's not there today.

i need to study for this test. eat something. go to work.

i need a ray of sunshine.

larisa
ann