just one moment before i sleep.

falling in love with you was never enough.

i've decided that i need to leave boston. oh, i need to go to seattle too, which i now fully intend on doing, but i really think i need to leave here as well.

i've got to start from scratch. somehow.

i feel alone, and i miss the green grass, i miss being small, i miss growing up and being young. i miss what i didn't even know i had.

jealousy and envy and friends lost.

i want to purge this sickness from my body.

i take my jumprope and jump till i don't remember my name.

i've overtired. and lost.

i feel this for you in my gut.

i'm not a little girl anymore. but i can't do this.

i'm stuck in between.


jaimes, i miss you so much and i don't even know why.





at least being in myself i think in art. now i just have to do it. i will continue to alientate everyone until they are all gone.

but at least they'll remember me after i die.