i feel sort of depressed and lonely today.
i think it's because i don't have a plan.
and no real motivation.
i think i need to get out tonight.
tomorrow is mike's show. that's gonna be fun.
friday is paul's show.
maybe party with a second paul in jp? hmm .. i don't know about that one. he always sends me emails with little winks in them, and for some reason ...i just find it really fucking disgusting when people try to flirt with me through email with fucking winks. ew.
so anyways, i think what it is ..
is that today is perhaps a calm before the storm..
but i hate being underproductive.
so i think i'll clean the house after i write this.

list time.
*make demo real for this guy that may or may not be an asshole
*buy new camera, ha
*buy external hard drive. another ha!
*shoot experimental film
*god, i hate this list .....

i'd like to work on my painting.
oh, i have to do my laundry.

vicki came over like ...soo long along and gave me this bag of pills, and was like, larisa, if you ever need to sleep take these. i took one last night and it knocked me out in like less than 15 minutes. holy fuckanoli.

but whatever.





we don't talk anymore for alot of fucking trust issues.


i watched ghost world today and it made me depressed. i think that enid needs to do alot of growing up.
maybe it makes me feel like i need to as well.




i think i'm going to go for now.