my mom was hospitalized yesterday for pneumonia. yeah. i'm gonna go see her today. i found out at work, and then went over duncan's. i got an expresso martini and then he got upset about some crushed childhood dream, so we got the wine and just kept drinking. i finally stubbled to mike's show to catch his last song. loser. had some vodka and peach shnapps. called p. sarah answered! she was like, "larisa ann, what are you doing?? move back to LA. we'll have so much fun. if you buy the ticket i'll take care of you here."
who is she kidding? though it was fucking marvelous to talk to her.
onto the train.
foreverrrrrr long.
i make it home.
joshua calls.
"i want to come over."
"joshua, you have no idea...." "i'm a bad daughter."
so then i'm crying. oh look, micah's whiskey. 3 shots. i think i may be drinking myself to death.
grab the cat and plow into jaimes' room and crash on his bed.

he came over. grabbed me, held my head, stroked my hair.
we went to the kitchen to have a beer.

talked.
i cried.
i slept next to him because i didn't want to be alone.

all night i listened to his breathing. that gentle snore. i'm fucking in love with this man.
my best friend.
my everything.

i'm gonna rest now.
visiting hours start at 2.
gatorade is a lifesaver.



funny how life can change in just a moment.
i should think of that more when i'm laying around depressed.


because there are good things, larisa ann.
there are good things.