stay all day. if you want to....

i'm listening to this specific pixes album/song that just makes me want lesbians and cocaine. i suppose it's for the best that i don't have either readily accessible.

i've been painting alot tonight. felt sort of bummed when j came back from colorada bragging about how good his paintings were when he was a kid and untrained. *snore.*
oh, larisa, don't be so mean.

i came out of my bedroom today in this tiny little tank top and these tiny little shorts, and i'll be dammed if he didn't blink a little. blush a little? fuck you, j.

i've been feeling better. though i am bummed that no one ever seems to call anymore.

but i did get picked for this special project at work and that makes me feel good. good enough to be picked! awesome.

i am moving to san francisco at the end of august.
i've made up my mind.

i love when i have paint all over my hands.

working on the self confidence thing.

reading that cunt book. it's wild. it's extreme feminism. but it's how i've been feeling lately so it works. i like the girl who wrote it. she almost scares me.

videotaped a memorial show this past weekend for a queer radical spoken word activist. it was very touching and sad. her mom was there, and her brother. there were alot of really good slam poets. their words stay with me.

looked at alex's journal recently. i guess she's moving to canada? it's been almost exactly a year since we last spoke. but i can still remember her voice.


i've been riding my bike everywhere! i want to love myself.
i really do.


gouge away, stay all day.
if you want to.


i turned the trees in my painting into popcicles. they look better. i remember christy saying they would. ooooh, christy. i've been thinking about that girl all day today.

i want to call my mom and say, hey mom. thanks for being so open and cool. but i don't think i like boys at all anymore. uhhmmmm....
girl, when did you get so gay?

i've got to make a decision coming up.


sunburned today.
poi on the roof while i talked to mark.


i feel excited.
it makes me want to smoke cigarettes. (ew, why?)
gross.

the mosquitos bit me everywhere.
and today bitsy got a bath and she looked like a wet rat.
i've all over the place.

bye.