the summer after i was raped i wore a knee length red skirt to bed every night. people would stop by in the morning and i would answer the door in this red skirt and everyone would say, "larisa, you look so nice!" and i would laugh and say, "oh, these are my pajamas."
it was a rough summer i guess, what with being treated for *** and i couldn't do much to soothe myself. i hated every moment of myself at that time and i had also just decided to go back to school, so i'd wake up with those panic attacks. those ridiculous panic attacks keeping me awake all fucking night unless i swallowed those pills, even though that psychic in new york city told me that i shouldn't be worrying about money.
she also said,
"you'll make your home far away from here, but it will be a good home."

i'm a bit lonely. i just went to the art store and bought some gesso. some gel medium because i lost mine somewhere or other. oh fuck. i wanted to buy a drop rag and i totally forgot. grrrrrrr.

i'm going to make some dinner. i was thinking i'd do laundry but i honestly don't know if i care. and tomorrow i'm going to buy some tap shoes!! it's going to be marvelous.

for christmas i want a book on nutrition. i think that if i eat better for my body than i'll feel better all around. at least i hope.

i've been cleaning my room in a major way and it feels good.

i'm out for now.

peace and love.
L~