thanksgiving and being at my parents' house was fucking horrible but i'll get into that later. i just spent the last four hours making out with duncan in my bed, having him whisper poetry into my ear. it's now almost four in the morning but all i want to do is paint but what i really should do is sleep.
i have plans with ali tomorrow. i feel like a horrible friend but i really don't want to hang out. because i won't mention tonight or anything else that is really going on in my life but i'm not sure why.
oh well.

i love that no one is home right now because i can use my vibrator and no one will hear.
but i'm also really hungry.
in truth i slept through most of thanksgiving because it was really hard and draining so after the first course - oh god - also, everything fucking had meat in it...
anyways...i just went into the basement and crashed on the couch. for three hours. no one was really surprised. it was so very larisa. whatever.

came home. got a semi work related email from j, who's in nyc. wrote him back. thought about him alot when i was kissing duncan. duncan knows all about my crush, but like ...i don't know ... walking home holding hands with j the other night ... i wished it was him that i was kissing even though it would destroy our friendship and on and on. and kissing duncan was fun because he's kinda crazy and has no expectations for where this will go, it's all just sort of a good time ... which is fine.
but like....
i always want more. and i feel like i'm using duncan for the time being because he makes me feel nice but what i really want is someone to fall in love with.
oh, le sigh le sigh babble babble babble.

i love that no one is home, it's just me and bitsy.
she's so sweet, i hope she sleeps with me tonight!!!!!!!!!!!


ok.
i should try that now.

xo
L