i don't know much about clothes but my hair looks fierce.

my moods have been stable.
i am dealing
with my assault.
i've been reading.
i am dealing
with coming to terms with myself.
i am living
as clean as i can.
i am thinking all the time
and thinking good thoughts about myself
and how strong i am
and how i am a good person
who got dealt a rough hand
well guess what.
i am dealing with this hand
in the best way i know how
i have my first meeting this week
at a group for survivors dealing with strong emotions.
survivors.
i am a survivor.

i feel suprisingly good since i stopped drinking. though i did have 2 beers and a shot this weekend at mike's 30th birthday party. it wasn't much but i woke up with my heart racing in that weird way it does when you are hung over and i looked in the mirror over the bathroom sink and i kept saying in my head, "there is poison in your body there is poison in your body." it's amazing how good drinking makes you feel at the time...spacy, lovey, horny, and how awful it can make you feel afterward. from the physical to the mental.

oh god....and my latest guilty pleasure. someone put the entire first season of the l word on you tube. now, i never watch tv at all, but this is almost like free porn. i can't stop watching it...

aaaaaaaahhhhh..


Larisa~