right on.

so maybe i'm being dramatic, but you know when your relationship is over. you know when the cutsey texts stop, when she says she'll call and never does...days in a row. you know when you got out of the car and without thinking about it you say, "well, i don't know when i'll hear from you." you know it's over when you haven't had sex in weeks and it's always some other kind of excuse, "it's too intense," "im worried I'll be bad at it," "i'm scared it will get out of control and then we won't be friends later." WHAT THE FUCK.

natalie, i don't want to be your friend. i want to be your girlfriend, but right now i don't even want to see you. i wanted to run baths for you with champagne and chocolate. i comtemplated moving with you when you move. but i'd rather i don't see you now.

so i don't have to look at you and know that deep down in your heart you're straight. and i bet this was fun and interesting and all that, but i need a little bit more than sweet sometimes kisses and barely getting to hang out.

i guess i got a little too intense, and now i'm feeling to vulnerable to move, to talk to you.

i guess it was fun while it lasted.

i felt really bad for a day or so. but now i feel ok. i even feign happiness when you do call.

isn't it awesome? isn't life fucking awesome.

later.