things that you say

it's all the same.

except that it's not.

and i have been doing extraordinarily well. very well actually.

and i don't want to discredit that.

but as i sit tonight, making this rice pasta, with my roommate in the other room, and a vagina bleeding and hurting, i wonder.

i wonder if i'm making the right decisions.

i wonder what i will put myself through for love. for caring. for the illusion of love and caring.

self defense class.

i like the guy who really beats on you.

turns out i may be a bit of a masochist.

bdsm.

?

maybe.

but maybe not.

started doing yoga again and it feels amazingly. i feel strong in my body. strong in my upper arms. strong in my core like i want to be.


eat.

bed.