gold teeth and a curse on this town

my passport came in the mail today. in many ways this makes me happy, but in many other ways it makes me scared and depressed, because now it is here -- pushing at me..i need to do something with it or i'm going to feel like a total loser.

i haven't felt like writing lately. for some reason i feel totally exposed. i feel like people are watching me. i'm not sure if that's ridiculous or not. i'm trying very hard to get used to this diary site, but in reality i miss my old one. it was the only one where i ever felt totally anonymous. i hate wondering if people i know in real life are going to find this, or if it even matters. does it? it's not like anyone cares anyway. time is just fleeting.

next friday k and a and i are going to go and get brazillian waxes. they are so fucking painful but i love them so.

i feel sort of lonely. it's a saturday night and i'm snowed in..attempting to do homework, yet hanging out on the internet...wondering...i dont know. i hate it, it doesn't matter.

i want to quit my job. sometimes i want to quit my life. then something will happen and i'll feel so overjoyed i want to jump out of my skin. in truth i hate when i have a moment free. it causes me to think, where am i going, shut up larisa, just live for today.

he came into my work the other day. fuck. more of it. i feel so horrible. meetings meetings...i'm secretly the bitch of the universe. i just want to grab my hoop and hoop forever..fuck this stupid snow, where is the sun and the beach?

perhaps i should fuck europe and just move back to LA.

out.