dear j,
i'm about to lose you. i know it. i can see it in your face, your eyes.
on the brink of a philosophical breakdown, huh?
a existentionalistic breakdown.
it started last may, so you say.
so why are you smiling so hard when you look at me?
and why do you cover yourself in all these layers.
when all i want is you, j.
you say you're about to pursue on a new mindset,
because surrealism is too much in the world.
and how can you change the course of action when you are behaving the same as them.
well you can't, i guess.
i wish i was an artist like you.
i want to you say to me, will you come and sit over here beside me.
i want you to take me in your arms.
every night lately it's been someone new.
kissing someone new.
and it's not like i don't like these people.
but it's you.
it's you it's always you who i want to be kissing.
why do you have to be so fucking beautiful?
and wise.
and why do you have to smell like you..
so that it gets all over me, j, please.
it's all wrong, it's all so wrong, and you have the potential
to break me.
to rip my heart right out of my chest.
and that's why i want it so bad
to want someone so fucking bad
is a feeling i almost forgot.
dear j,
just make me forget.