why are art people such pretentious fucks?
on another note, why is art so fucking pretentious?
i'm so sick of the name dropping, etc etc etc.
wtf.
whatever.
does it matter?
no.
i don't want to live like this anymore. i don't want to wonder if i'm cool. because in all honestly, i'm not. i'm not i'm not.
but i'm sick of trying to be cool. (am i?)
oh who knows, shut the fuck up larisa.
but honestly.

stick it in.
your ass.



enough.


no more negative energy.
(please.)
no more.
i just want good energy.
blue energy, as i've been picturing exhaling pink.
out out out.
i need to be calm.
i need to be zen.
one thing at a time, larisa.
one thing at a time.


oh, and you?
fuck off.
how dare you say that i became friends with your friends and lost my own life.
(did i?)
how dare you try to dictate who i hang out with.
i'm trying so hard not to rock the waters here.
but hanging out with you is so fucking hard.
and i'd really like to never see you.
because you just suck suck suck the energy right out of me.
but it's me.
because i've got to stop thinking this way.

things have to get better.
i hope i don't feel this way forever.
so lost and confused.
and lost and confused.



dear someone...
i don't even know anymore.