my latest project is called survival and it has nothing to do with art except for the art of keeping me alive.
it consists of taking vitamins and flaxseed oil, doing yoga, breathing, not caring what anyone else is doing, and attempting to focus.
my therapist asked me today if i ever considered that i might be bipolar, then she read me a list from the borderline personality disorder book. uhm.
she says it doesn't matter to her what my diagnoses is, it matters what it means to me. so like, i come up with alot of the personality traits in the borderline personality book, but it's a matter of accepting that yes, this is how i am, now how am i going to appreciate myself like this and keep on living and be happy. because i really don't want to take medication. even though my therapist argues that i self medicate myself, which i guess i do, but like ... i decide when i want to take it and when i don't.
i want to feel the way i feel when i take hallucinogens all the time.
which is:
happy
hyper
don't care what people think
colorful
creative
light
sauve
beautiful


********
i'm gonna do yoga and eat.

larisa~